Monday, October 22, 2012

This Post is All About the Hair, but Everything Else is Not

Before photo by Amber Beckham Photography

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 

After mulling and thinking and perhaps a bit of stewing, I finally decided on how I would cope with the aspect of losing my hair.
 It is strange how superficial hair really is, but at the same time, when faced with the certainty that it will all fall off of your head, it's importance seems to loom up in front of your face and surprise you.

When I explained the fact that I would lose my hair to my kids, I could see it on their faces that they were really nervous about it. My youngest son even thought that I might turn into another person without hair. 
That is when I decided to show them how I would be the same mommy no matter what my hair looked like.
 And really, cutting it helped me too, since I was beginning to have a slightly acid taste in my mouth when I swept my long, curly hair over my shoulder, or when the baby reached up to wrap her little fingers in it for comfort. As the impending loss came nearer, I was beginning to love my hair even more - which was making me hate it even more too! 
I was angry at my hair.

So the time came to let it go.
I don't regret it a bit.
And when the time comes to actually shave my shedding head, I think I (and my family) will be ready. I'm still the same person. Maybe even better. 
God is good.


Briana said...

these photos and YOU are beautiful, Amanda. I love the new "do". Every step in your journey is important and needs to be documented, including this one. thanks for sharing

Amanda Conley said...

Thank you, Briana, for your encouragement. You really always say just the right thing. That is a gift from God. Your family has been so great to me through this (I am eating your moms casserole right now!) And I am so thankful for all of you. (Your sis is the most amazing photographer,too! Just sayin...)

Amber Beckham Photography said...

Amanda! Thank you so much for allowing us to enter into your world during this time. I love hearing your thoughts, your heart, your concerns, your joys...I appreciate your transparency so much.

Courtney said...

So glad you got to have Amber photograph this event. You look beautiful with short hair and I'm sure you will look beautiful with no hair.
We pray for you every day.

CaRoLiNe said...

I LOVE the new hair. Your tiny face and head are perfect for a pixie!!!!