Monday, October 8, 2012

The C word

I have cancer.

How ironic that it is National Breast Cancer month.
I was diagnosed last Thursday night, on October 4th, 2012.

It is amazing how much can change in such a short period of time. This was something I never would have suspected would happen to me at such a young age. And I am breast feeding. Isn't that supposed to lower your risk considerably?
I guess I am one of that small percent.

We are shocked. 
We are scared.
We are sad.
We are angry.
We are trusting our God in heaven.
We are ready to fight for my life.

So far, I have undergone several tests to find out why I had weird clogged milk duct (so I thought,) that would not go away and was not turning into mastitis. As I lay on the table at my ultrasound, waiting for the radiologist to come and discuss the results she saw, I took out my Bible app on my phone and opened it to the passage that we were studying in church - Luke 20.

I began to read about when the religious leaders of the time asked Jesus if it was right to pay taxes to Rome, and Jesus had them get out a coin and look at it. He asked them "Who's image is on it, and whose inscription?" when they answer "Cesar's," He simply tells them to give to Cesar what belongs to Cesar and to give to God what is God's.
My eyes kept going back to: 

"Whose image is on it and whose inscription?"

I could hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit upon my heart saying to me ,
"You bear my image, Amanda, and my name is written upon you. Trust me with your body."

And even though my diagnoses was not until several days later, after a biopsy and many hours of waiting, waiting, waiting, 
 I have trusted Him with my body. No matter what.
 It's His.

Tomorrow is a PET scan to find out if and how far it has spread. I have already been so fortunate to feel God's hand upon me and His many mercies, due, in part, to many prayers. But please continue to pray for me. 

Pray that the cancer is localized.
Pray that my family will find strength and peace through this.
Pray that we will not succumb to fear.

Because I know that we do not have to be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition and with thanksgiving, we can present our requests to God, and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus.

I have already experienced this miracle in my life.

Just keep praying.


Unknown said...

Dear Amanda,

I am praying for you.

With love, Kathryn

Amanda Conley said...

Thank you so much, Kathryn.

Anonymous said...

I love you, Amanda. I am praying and I will not stop. You are a blessing in this world; you will be blessed. Prayingprayingpraying with love,

AdobeSol said...

Amanda, I have always loved your work. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Cancer has touched nearly every one of us at some time in our lives. Trust in God and rely on family and friends!

Victoria Takahashi said...

amanda, I am not of a religous nature but I do believe in positive energies which I also believe can be called god to others. I am sending you positive energy, love and healing.
Your love & attitude is inspiring.

take care my friend.

Becoming Jane said...

I am sending prayers everyday for peace of mind, strength, courage, and healing. God is with you as you are never walking alone. Give this up to him, he will guide you. You will be in my prayers everyday. Sincerely, Jane

Amanda Conley said...

Thank you friends. Your comments are so encouraging to me. I feel very loved.

Rachel Allen said...

You are an incredible witness to so many of the majesty of of Lord and Savior. I know that He will walk with you and your family as you use this circumstance to spread love, joy, peace and hope to so many. I will be praying for you and your family as you find strength to endure this battle!

Name Tel said...

Amanda, I cannot believe what I just read... This just brought tears in my eyes... I'm so sorry to hear that, but our whole fanily is praying for you and yours! Be strong! With love, Marija,Billy and Nicholas.

Catherine Chandler said...

Oh Amanda, you are in my heart and prayers! I am so sorry to hear of your news, but you are strong, and with the love of your family, your faith, and rockin' medical care, you will come out on top. I am praying for you.

Inbar Bareket said...

Amanda, I am so sorry to hear that!
I am not a religious believer but I do believe in destiny. I believe that we can control our destiny by our inside strength. Think positive, be strong, surround yourself with our love and you will win !
If there is ANYTHING I can do to help - don't hesitate to ask !

I love you !


nova by tess said...

Amanda I am so sorry. Be strong and brave. You will beat this. I am sending all my love your way. Know that we are all here for you.

Anonymous said...

Amanda, I don't know you, but I feel I was meant to see this blog. I saw it because of a friend on facebook. I am going for my ultrasound tomorrow morning, and have been praying and "hearing" the same thing as you. I feel peaceful (even when I am scared) because I know God has me and I can just give everything up to His will. Thank you for sharing, and I will pray for you and your family. May God continue to bless and keep you.

Lisa S

Amanda Conley said...

Thank you all for your comments. Lisa, I will pray for you right now that your results are good. And peace be upon you.

Anonymous said...

Thank you.


Jennifer Baughman said...

((Amanda)) Sending healing thoughts your way.

Jenny in atlanta

Lisa S said...

Still praying for you, and praying that your PET scan results are good. Peace and strength be with you.


Sophie said...

Amanda, I am and will be thinking of you and your family. Your faith and strength are amazing and inspiring, and will carry you xxx

Sophie x

Briana said...

I am praying for you, Amanda, and for your family! For peace, for healing, for joy, and for trust.

KathrynRiechert said...

!! So sorry to read this!! I can't imagine you as anything but strong and healthy and I *know* you will conquer this like it's just a bump in the road. Know that I'm thinking about you and praying for you.

Holly said...

Amanda, Thank you for sharing your news via blog/facebook. I got the link from Annalise. This is one of the amazing things about internet these days - you can almost instantly summon worldwide prayer!! I will be praying for you and for your family - for faith, for healing, for many opportunities to share with others about the HOPE you have in Christ. Love to you! Holly Tallon (annalise's pepperdine friend)

Carrie, The Modern Housewife said...

Amanda - I can't believe this! I just got an email from Sarah L. I am so sorry, and will be praying for your full healing, and for peace during this time. Love, Carrie.

Amanda Conley said...

Thanks, Carrie. You dropped off Facebook right before I found out and so I asked Sarah to let you know. Just want to keep all my friends in the loop. I had wanted to bring you a meal when you moved into your house! So I am sorry that I won't be able to do that! Thank you so much for your prayers. Xxooo