Tuesday, October 30, 2012

1 Down, 7 To Go

I will rejoice and be glad in Your steadfast love,
 Because You have seen my affliction; 
You have known the distress of my soul

"relaxing" in the chemo room
This is one of the chemo medicines. Looks scary, right? That's because it is.

After my first chemo treatment, I came home and within just a couple of hours, was shoved into the throes of extreme nausea. My husband ended up calling the doctor later that night because none of the anti-nausea meds seemed to be working. Finally, we figured out a dose that calmed the worst of it. But for the next several days, and even today, I just don't feel right in my skin. 
I can't seem to get comfortable, and the fatigue is immense.

Amber Beckham Photography

One thing that has helped me though, these past days, is that my husband has not left my side through this whole thing. Yes, he has gone into work - he is there right now - but when I have needed him, he has been there. 
He has gone to every appointment, rubbed my back when there was nothing else to do, and has literally been going through this as much as I have. 
In fact, when he tells people that I have cancer, he literally says, "We have cancer." 

Because that is how he sees it.
 And I find that extremely special.

Amber Beckham Photography

It reminds me of how Jesus is feeling as He walks through this with me. Of course, Jesus feels (and IS) way more in control than either Seth or I, but the point is, is that He is walking through this with me. He feels my pain. He says to me, "We have cancer." He knows how broken this world is, AND he knows how He is going to redeem this specific situation.

Amber Beckham Photography

Somehow, He is always redeeming, despite the sickness, sadness and brokenness.

Amber Beckham Photography

You have taken up my cause, O Lord; You have redeemed my life


Briana said...

beautiful words, Amanda. I love this perspective of Jesus walking with you through this. It changes it entirely. happy that one dose is in your past...

Melissa said...

You are beautiful, strong and an incredible woman. You're in my thoughts and prayers daily. Please let me know if there is anything that you might need during this long chapter.

Amanda Conley said...

Thank you, friends. Your comments mean so much.

Carol B. said...

beautifully words my friend.....thank you for sharing your journey.
prayers continue for you,

Amanda Conley said...

Thank you, Carol. Your prayers are so appreciated.

CaRoLiNe said...

I love that sentiment!!

Leslie Amelia Vogue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amber Beckham Photography said...

AMANDA!! This post, your words, your endurance, your thoughts...are so lovely. I enjoy seeing you with your husband. He IS such an awesome man and I saw this that day at the bridge. How he laughes with you and makes things "ok" even if it doesn't feel that way. You are lovely, friend, inside and out and I'm so glad you have him to walk with you through this.

Courtney said...

This is so beautiful. I'm so glad you have such a loving husband helping you through this. I long for heaven where there is no more cancer, no more death, no more tears and everything made right. My little family is praying for you all the time.

Anonymous said...

Get well soon Amanda....fight
I sent you a message on your facebook at bijougirl please go read it

Melanie McGaughey said...

I had no idea.... Actually got on your FB page to ask if you had any small flower earrings left that I could FINALLY buy when I'm in town and I saw this. Oh girl... How amazing you are, how strong. And I know it is the Lord who has given you HIS strength when you have had none-just like Abraham when his body was as good as dead. (Romans 4) He knew God would have the strength for him that he lacked. So beautiful, so hard, so miraculous. You will and are getting to see the Lord in a way not many may experience. And I just know He will be made famous through you. And Seths's words...wow. That will stay with me...especially imagining Christ saying them. So true.

MUCH much love to you.

Amanda Conley said...

Thanks for that analogy about Abraham, Mel. That is beautiful and encouraging.

Elizabeth Shaw (One of Annalise's Pepperdine friends) said...

Amanda, I am praying for you and your family as you walk this road. Praise God that He is with you, that Jesus is by your side, and that you have the blessing of Seth as a reminder of God's love and grace and compassion. Thank you for sharing your journey and God's faithfulness amidst it all.

Peacock said...

It's really inspireing how much faith you have got. I nominated you for Liebster Award. You can find more details on my blog :)

Becoming Jane said...

Your faith is inspiring. You are in my prayers everyday. I pray for you to have strength, courage, and focus. Although we can never understand why we are faced with different challenges in our life we can know that HE is walking with us every step of the way. Much love and strength to you and your family. -Jane