He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
For you equipped me with strength for the battle; You made those who rise up against me sink under me.
The results of my PET scan are in. From what I gather, the places that breast cancer spreads to first are the axillary lymph nodes (the ones in your arm pit), the lungs, bones, blood, liver and brain.
The good news is that my lungs, bones, blood, liver and brain are clear.
Unfortunately, my right axillary lymph nodes lit up on the scan.
This most likely means that a lumpectomy will not be a good option, but we will do a full mastectomy and also remove the lymph nodes.
The lymph nodes in my left groin area as well as some areas in my abdomen were also lit up on the scan. This does not necessarily mean that those areas are cancer. Some of the areas may be lit up with something they are calling "physiological lighting," and they are telling me that that can be considered normal. What it means for the lymph nodes, is that they could be inflamed from an infection, or cancer. We will probably do a biopsy to determine the cause. My first oncologist appointment is tomorrow afternoon.
That is the medical lowdown.
As far as my mental and emotional status, today I am doing ok. I keep hearing about how strong a woman I am, but I am here to tell you that I am weak. So, so weak. There are moments when I am completely paralyzed by fear. My bowels are acting crazy, my heart is palpitating and I have periods of shortness of breath.
Any strength that you are perceiving from me comes straight from the Lord Jesus Christ who is my shelter and my rock. When I am weak, He is strong.
Yesterday, before I received any news, this verse from the Bible leaped out at me and I wrote it on an index card that I can carry with me:
"The Lord is my strength and my defense; He has become my salvation...the Lord's right hand is lifted high; the Lord's right hand has done mighty things! I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done!"