My children are mending and I have returned from the retreat that I am so blessed to have been able to attend and enjoy. Not only was the location of the Lodge beautiful, nestled in the rolling hills of Tennessee amidst the wonders of God's creation, but the company that I enjoyed was priceless. I got to be surrounded by women who love the Lord and whose heart's desire is to further His beautiful Kingdom by striving to act out exactly who they really are, princesses of the King.
As I relaxed, and spent time with God away from the normality that is my daily life, I began to see how He is trying to teach me what it means to rest in Him. Having sick kids just brings out the desire that is always lurking under my skin to be in control. Seth has told me before "Man, you are a control freak!" I have always called it being "efficient." When something happens and I am out of control such as in the case of having sick children, I become very stressed and I liturgically plead with God to do something about it, "now...please." Seth will occasionally ask me who it is that I trust and then I have to bashfully hang my head and reply quietly so as not to be overheard, because I realize that my actions have betrayed me. "God." I say.
When I am out of control, I know the Lord is in control.
When I think that I am in control, I'm not. The Lord is always in control. My head knows this. My heart knows this. I need to rest in Him. In His Sovereignty. In His power. In His perfect love. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
When I give over and surrender to the One who I know is in charge, there I find rest. When I let His words pour over me telling me who He is, how He is the faithful One that I can trust, there I find rest. When I praise Him for the work He has already done in conquering the grave and washing me clean, there I find rest.
Today I have started a new thing. Today and every Sunday after, I am going to praise Jesus and thank Jesus and acknowledge His provision in my life, but I am not going to ask Him for anything. Asking can be for the other days, but not for today. Sundays I am going to rest from all of my desire to control and I am going to trust the Lord to keep His promises and provide for me. I am going to rest in Him.
"Fear not for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel,
your Savior;" Isaiah 43:2